As anyone reading this knows, Lauren Fogle [0-0] has lots of fans, including yours truly. To explain exactly why I’m such a fan, I’d like to paint the backdrop. Picture this, the year is 2012 and my wife of the time says that her oldest friend Lauren wants to fly out to visit us in Dallas. I had hung out with Lauren a few times as of this point and always had a great time, including one pleasant surprise at a concert once that I will not divulge at this point (shh). I didn’t know her all that well as of this point, though. Little did I know that I was about to have one of the best weekends of my life.
When Lauren got to our apartment, she made it instantly obvious that she was going to make this trip memorable for her and for us! You know that fun party girl image she has with the Lingerie Fighting Championships? That’s not an act. That’s definitely the real Lauren! She started talking about being able to get us backstage to a concert we were attending, hitting the town, and coming along with her best friend and her husband to make sure that the city would never be the same after she left! Was this just talk? If you’re reading this, I think you know that Lauren doesn’t just talk the talk. When she walks that walk of hers (you know the one), *everyone* notices and remembers, no matter what gender or age you are.
The first night, we decided to go to a local bar for some karaoke. For some reason, I just knew that I had to sing the song “Animals” by Nickelback. It was like divine inspiration. God does work in mysterious ways, after all! My ex-wife and Lauren agreed to be my video star dancers to accompany my, ahem, “singing” (sorry Nickelback!) of this modern rock classic. Did Lauren get her nickname “The Animal” from this performance of mine? I can’t say for sure. Lauren? ? Luckily, since the ladies mesmerized the audience, including me, with their dancing, I’m sure that no one even noticed my butchering of the song. Immediately afterwards, a guy came up to me and asked if I was with both of the women. I explained the situation, with him telling me that every guy there was jealous of me. I said that I knew.
After this, the man went over to Lauren and kind of put his arms on both sides of her to “pin” her against the wall in an overly aggressive and clearly unwanted manner. I watched the situation closely and looked at her in a way to ask if she was okay. She gave me a calm, serene look of, “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve got this.” It was very impressive and it has stuck with me to this day. This wasn’t Lauren’s first rodeo, after all. With this one look of calm and confident, but thankful, serenity, she impressed me more in one second than anyone else has ever done so quickly. With no apparent concern, stress, hesitance, or confrontation, she let the guy know that she was not interested and that she would not be intimidated or cowed. She rejoined us and we continued with our night, where Lauren commenced to alpha test several other men, not finding any up to snuff. It’s hard being a 10!
The following night, we went to a Five Finger Death Punch concert, where Lauren got us back into the band’s trailer where we got to meet a couple of the band members. You know, just another average night with Lauren! After hanging out with them for a bit, we went out to the concert and rocked our faces off. At one point during the concert, Lauren wanted to see the stage better, so I, being the gentleman and the scholar that I am, picked her up on my shoulders, making sure to hold on to those perfectly-toned legs of hers to keep her balanced. You know, purely out of altruistic concern for her safety, of course! Much screaming, cheering, and head-banging commenced while the guys and girls around us were once again jealous.
The rest of the trip was fun, as well, but these were the highlights. When Lauren left, we said our goodbyes, not to see her again for some time. My ex-wife and I moved back to Las Vegas, where Lauren lived, a few months later. I was nearing completion of a novel I was writing at this time. At the end, I started discussing the cover with my ex. She suggested that we ask Lauren to be on it. She didn’t hesitate. Not only is she probably the sexiest and most fun woman I’ve ever met, but she’s probably one of the sweetest, too. I could type more, but this should be enough to give you a bit of a taste of what Lauren’s like in real life. So, here’s to us, Lauren. Thanks for the amazing times and I hope all of her fans can imagine through this short essay what it’s like to hang out with her. Now, go support this rocker chiiiiiick (as she spells it on her Instagram account @laurenfogle10) as she literally and figuratively kicks ass for us!
Lauren on the cover of : Turning Points The Death of the West
Twitter: @HighIqqq & @HighiqqqK
Instagram: @highiqqqadults & @highiqqqkids